Most people know that going through a separation or divorce frequently includes an emotional roller coaster. When a marriage falls apart, or spouses simply decide to go their separate ways, tensions can rise. Many of the issues divorcing couples need to address have long-term consequences. Property division, child custody matters, and spousal maintenance issues are best addressed with reason and a rational mind. Unfortunately, remaining focused is often easier said than done.
The following are some tips that may provide you with outlets to ease tensions during an emotional time:
Find a support network
Your close friends, family members, or your spiritual advisor are all good sources of moral support. However, it is best not to place your children in the middle of your divorce. Close friends and relatives who have known you for years care about you and want to help you through to a better future. Having someone listen to you—even if only to allow you to vent—can help you to release negative energy. Some people benefit from meeting with a therapist during divorce.
Take care of yourself
Following a normal routine provides structure. It is important to exercise and maintain a healthy diet. Your routine does not have to exclude leisure. Keeping up with hobbies, exploring activities that have interested you, and relaxing are all important aspects of a calming lifestyle.
Avoid making life-changing decisions
You likely know that divorce itself is a major life change. However, until it is final you may not necessarily know the fine details of your property settlement or custody arrangement. Changing jobs or purchasing a new car in haste may cause future complications to prolong your stress.
Try to keep positive, without being hard on yourself
Focusing on your post-divorce life, rather than your current battle may help ease your tension. That does not mean that you will not have feelings, such as anger, anxiety, or fatigue. These feeling will ease as you move forward. Try to be good to yourself and accept that the anxiety is usually a short-term problem. Again, a therapist may help if you are unable to keep your emotions in check.
Grieving during the loss of a relationship is common. Looking for positive ways to control emotions in a healthy way may help you to get to make better choices in your divorce. Alcohol and other detrimental crutches, or focusing on revenge, will not benefit you in the long-term. Staying positive, accepting the change, and understanding the need to make informed decisions can help to guide you to the future in a positive way.